Unbound by Jamie Sumner + GIVEAWAY

We all have expectations for motherhood. Most of us, at some point or another, have carefully crafted plans for what our motherhood will look like, how it will come about, or who our family will be. And then, inevitably, we encounter situations that test and challenge those ideas. We’re forced to re-evaluate or else flounder under unrealistic goals.

I was super excited to receive an early copy of Jamie Sumner’s book, “Unbound” as she addresses the reality of motherhood and the struggle it can take to get there. Dealing with issues like infertility, miscarriage, difficult pregnancies, and special needs parenting, this book details some of Jamie’s own difficult journey while weaving in stories and highlights from women of the Bible. This book is beautiful and challenging, written with hope, honesty, and truth — and I was so encouraged by Jamie’s story.

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Pregnancy After Loss: Grieving a Lost Due Date

The end of March brings with it the end of our first trimester with this little bean. This milestone makes my breath catch and my heart swim. When I saw those pink lines on the pregnancy test, I was so focused on just getting through the first eight weeks, I could scarcely dream of the end of the first trimester. But here we are with a healthy, growing baby and hearts overflowing with excitement and joy.

At the same time, this month carries memories of another child I once carried in my womb. Memories of a little girl we named Avonlea. A child whom we knew for a mere seven days, a daughter whom I knew from the start we wouldn’t get to keep.

March 25 would have been her due date.

This is part of pregnancy after loss: remembering the ones who aren’t in your womb, the ones who never made it this far, and whose hearts you never saw beat. Just because a new baby grows within, doesn’t mean that the ones we lost are any less loved, cherished, or missed.

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When You Can’t Find Your Happily-Ever-After

Our "happily ever after" doesn't always look like what we thought it would

I like books with happily-ever-afters.

I want the novel in my hand to close with the satisfying feeling that all has been resolved. To turn to the last page and find the loose threads woven together, the dragons slain, and the broken hearts whole and healed.

For the past three years, we’ve walked through the pages of a story that have been written with tears: a stillbirth, four miscarriages, six months of negative pregnancy tests. The words are rougher and messier than what I would have penned for myself. Others see the book’s jagged edges and whisper well-intentioned platitudes like, “It will happen. Hang in there.”

And if this was a novel written by my own human hands it would certainly end with a baby born, whole and healthy with screaming lungs and flailing arms. Given the chance, who wouldn’t write out happy answers to our most heartfelt dreams? An acceptance letter into that longed-for university program, a perfect job that provide unending happiness, a spouse to snuggle up next to each night. With the rub of an eraser we would fix marriages that have been cracked or marred by human brokenness, and lives that have been devastated by sickness and poverty. With glittery rainbow-coloured markers, we would scribble out a lifetime of dreams fulfilled rather than crushed. Because if it were up to us, those things that we have been dreaming of, longing for, and praying for would always happen.

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Book Review: Oath of Honor by Lynette Eason

Book Review: Oath of Honor by Lynette Eason

Police officer, Izzy St. John, is determined to uncover the truths behind her partner’s murder, even if that means putting herself directly in the line of fire. Her search for answers leads her to a large criminal organization and a list of possible dirty-cops,  which potentially includes one of her own family members. Mystery, adventure, and a bit of heat between her and a handsome homicide detective launches Book 1 of the Blue Justice series, “Oath of Honor” by Lynette Eason.

For me, no trip to the library is complete without a stack of mystery / adventure novels in hand. This is my go-to genre for easy-reading and unwinding. Being an avid reader of this genre, I was especially looking forward to reading and reviewing this book, Oath of Honor. 

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Baby #7 Update

If you’ve been following along on my blog and social media, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been a bit quiet lately. While you may have already seen the news on my Instagram earlier this week, I wanted to take a moment to update all of you faithful blog followers, and let you know that we are expecting again! Baby #7 is due in October and we are beyond excited to be given another precious gift.

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Pregnant Mama, Take the Belly Picture

Dear Pregnant Mama, take the belly picture.

You just peed on a little white stick and watched two solid, pink lines appear from the nothingness. You’re barely five weeks along but there’s a child growing within your womb, a little bit of your DNA mashed into an ever-growing and dividing clump of cells.

You place your hand tenderly against your stomach and feel nothing but skin and a little bloat. There’s no evidence that this little one is here. Your stomach muscles have yet to stretch and give way to the life within. Everything is seemingly the same, and only you know it’s all begun to change.

And so, you feel silly asking your partner to take a belly picture. It seems strange to stand sideways against the wall and take a picture of “nothing.” You tell yourself that you have time.

But sadly, not all of us do.

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7 Things I learned Re-Reading my Childhood Nancy Drew Series

Who doesn’t enjoy reading childhood classics? I’ve loved re-reading through the Anne of Green Gables series, Little Women, and the Chronicles of Narnia. Occasionally I’ll bust out a Laura Ingalls Wilder classic or a copy of “The Secret Garden.” But now, it was time to mount a re-read of an entirely different scale: I decided to read through the entirety of my childhood Nancy Drew collection in one year.

And it almost killed me.

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A Letter to My Husband After A Pregnancy Loss

Last year, while working on a book about pregnancy loss, I had the privilege of interviewing over thirty, fellow, grieving mothers.

A few of the questions I asked revolved around marriage and how relationships with a spouse or partner had been affected by loss. Almost all of the mothers commented on the differences in grieving style — how men and women process and release their grief in such unique and sometimes confusing ways. We don’t always understand the other’s grief, but I was equally encouraged by the many women who shared how their marriage was strengthened and encouraged throughout this time. We found this to be true in our experience too — these differences can ultimately be our strength.

So this letter was written for the marriages in the midst of grief: those still struggling to understand each other and yet, fiercely fighting for something that is so-very-worth-fighting-for.  Read more

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When the Pregnancy Test is Negative – Surrendering all to Christ

Cautiously prodding a crumpled tissue out of the way, I carefully reached my hand down into the garbage can and fished out the used pregnancy test. I’d tossed it in moments earlier but now I was second-guessing myself.

I held the test up close against my face and squinted, hoping against hope that somehow that would change the answer. Maybe I hadn’t waited long enough? Maybe there was a very faint line and I’d just missed it?

One lonely pink line stared back at me and my heart sank. The pregnancy test was definitely negative.

Again.

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Book Review: The House on Foster Hill by Jaime Jo Wright

In this debut novel by Jaime Jo Wright, mystery and romance collide in a dual-narrative that takes us across time and generations to solve the dark secrets behind The House on Foster Hill. 

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Instagram Hashtags for Mothers Grieving Pregnancy Loss

You may not know it, but there is a whole community of grieving mothers right at your fingertips. Until I lost my babies, I never realized what key support could be found online — but when it comes to pregnancy loss and feeling less alone, the internet can be a beautiful place.

We all know how difficult it can be to talk openly and honestly about our grief: about the fears we’re facing, and about the challenges and milestones we’re navigating. But now that we all carry social media around in our pockets, it’s easier to begin documenting and openly sharing about life after loss. We can choose to do so anonymously or under our own name, with a private account or for the world to see. We can set our boundaries and invite people to share in our heartbreak and celebration.

And for those looking for community within the pregnancy loss world, Instagram is a key place to settle in.  Read more

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Book Review: Free of Me by Sharon Hodde Miller

“It’s not about you.” These are the four words that Sharon Hodde Miller opens Free of Me with, and the premise behind them captured my intention immediately.

In a world bombarded with messages about “self” this book serves as a purposeful refresher to re-direct our eyes upwards rather than inwards. Seeking to restore and redeem truths than have been twisted, Free of Us is a convicting and inspiring message to live a life for more than just ourselves.

With her easy writing style and gentle voice, it’s easy to see the author’s heart for gospel truth. Pushing past the temporary “feel-good messages” provided by the world around us, Miller leads us to exploration of an identity and worth found in Christ alone. Offering insights into seven different areas of life in which we tend to make about ourselves, Free of Us gently prods us to re-evaluate our approach towards God, Family, Appearances, Possessions, Friendship, Calling, and Church. The book concludes by offering four practical steps in helping to release our “me-centric” attitudes and turn our focus towards God.

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